the cheese stands alone

"The Peasants Are Revolting..."

You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.

What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
(snooted away from Xihn, who isn't nearly hoi enough to be polloi, as far as I can tell.)
PS... go on, finish the quote I used for the title.

Famous Last Words

(found at The Tombstone Generator, via The Presurfer)

My second choice:

PS... anyone who uses anything from Monty Python is cheating!

Told You

Ooooh, something shiny!

I'm Psychopathic Because My Penis Is Small?

I might as well declare this the Joe Pesci blog from now on. All Joe, all the time.
We know what you need.
(beaten away from Jeff at Side Salad)

I Was Hoping For X, Of Course

My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?

I'll Be That Last Twinkie

Cunning. Through use of many of life's faculties,
you've managed to suceed greatly. It may not
seem so to many, but isn't the the point most
times? It's only a matter of knowing more then
the others, right? I'm scared of people like
you, but in the same time, admire the ability
to see more then just the big picture; you see
yourself in it every time. You survived the end
by knowing who to knock down so you got that
last spot in the bunker... nicely done.

How would you survive the end of the world?
brought to you by Quizilla

My Dad Sends Me Jokes

San Carlos, AZ

During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation Wednesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year. Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan, however. He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career, he has voted YES for every Indian issue ever introduced.

Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.

After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit it can't fly.

As If We Suspected Otherwise

Take the quiz: "Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "

Ta mo bhriste tri thine
Ta mo bhriste tri thine - "My trousers are on fire."
You're a few bricks short of a load, aren't you? You're probably not allowed to use sharp objects and you should be locked in a rubber room. With rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats. They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. With rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats...

(my erin got braugh'd at It Tastes Like, Burning)

Visitation

99 Rooms reminds me of the backdrop for a lot of my weirder dreams.
Room 26 scared the beejeebers out of me.
Room 84 is the prettiest.

It Doesn't Suck

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Pants Full of Embers

I previously set you, my loyal Cheesers, the challenge of determining which of many factoids were true and which were false.
To be fair, you all did extremely well considering how weird my life is and therefore context could not be met by any normal standards.
The answers:

1. I had lunch in the principal's office every single day of fourth grade because I would not stop punching the boy I had a devastating crush on in the face to get his attention.
This one is True. The principal, due to extreme luck and small-town genetics, was my aunt and took pity on me. The boy in question was one of the Rich Kids (meaning he had a new bike when the rest of us had hand-me-downs from older relatives) and refused to acknowledge me unless I was in his face.
I took that a bit literally.
2. I was in a beauty contest at age 25 and fell off the stage into a potted palm.
Again, True. The contest was sponsored by the local hard rock station, so big hair and bigger heels were encouraged. As we were using the Tiki Room at the local Holiday Inn for the contest, each of us had to step over a decorative styrofoam volcanic rock border to walk down the runway. As I attempted this, my heel plunged into the styrofoam and I did a forward roll right off the edge of the stage, crushing a potted palm on my way down.
I think it was my screams of "Fuck fuck fuckity FUCK!" that led the judges to disqualify me. Can't out-curse the emcee, it's just bad pageant form.
3. I sold my swim team trophies to finance my first tattoo.
Aha! False. I can't swim. I paid for my tattoos the old-fashioned way... I neglected the cable bill.
4. At age 22, I was the middle-weight mud-wrestling champion of my area for 3 months.
Another True statement. While these were supposed to be strictly-for-show tussles, designed to coax the male patrons to holler themselves hoarse and therefore buy more beer, I took it a bit too seriously and set out to whoop some hussy ass. I did too, several times. It was fun while it lasted, until the bar was closed for health code violations.
What, did you think I spent my youth teaching bible school or something?
5. One of my ex-mothers-in-law tried to run over me with a sky-blue 1973 Buick.
Yep, True. That woman hated me with a white-hot fury that was nearly admirable in focus. She died in a mental institution one year to the day after I divorced her darling baby boy. No lie.
6. I am allergic to oysters.
Absolutely False. I love them any way I can get them, except raw. I'm not quite that hardcore.
7. Ben Stein popped my bra strap once.
Oh my, Ben, you naughty boy. True and False. It was twice. I was on "Win Ben Stein's Money", where I failed to do so. Later on, however, the production company called me to come up to L.A. to be a pretend-contestant when they were auditioning replacements for Jimmy Kimmel. Both times Ben was extremely courtly and genteel, shaking my hand with a slight bow as if to kiss it.
But each time, as I'd turn away, he'd reach out and snap my bra strap. With the complete deadpan that he'd displayed when he asked "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
8. I was asked to leave Mexico and never return.
Sadly, True. Because you can never get enough tacos-of-questionable-meat.
Seriously, I got deathly evil drunk, and stood in the middle of Revolucion Avenue and shrieked "I've never seen so many fucking Mexicans in my LIFE!" My escort was persuaded by the local cops to carry my limp ass across the border and encouraged to never return.
9. I am deathly afraid of chickens.
Okay.... True. I know they all want to just peck my eyes out. I just know it.
10. At age 4, inspired by a Wide World of Sports special on cliff divers, I tried to dive into the bathtub from a standing position on the top of the toilet. Two weeks after the stitches came out, I tried it the other way round. I still have the scars.
Trick question. False. I was 2 and a half. The scars on on my chin and my forehead, respectively.

I may have to do this one again, later on with entirely new oddments. If I do ten of them, wouldn't that qualify for the famous "100 Things" meme?

Hello Kitty Stress Test

According to the Hello Kitty Stress Test, I'm still reasonably safe for the general public.

"You Have A Fair Stress Level.
One of your reasons for this is your conscious awareness to release your stress before letting it get worst.
However when you come across many troubles at the same time, you might unable to handle it. There comes the problem. For this type you better enjoy the green and the wood.
As long as you are in the natural environment, you will be peaceful to resolve any problems. "

Shake? More Like Shimmy

Pants On Fire

Here's a nifty chance for me to increase my shady reputation by bleeps and pounds little game. I'll list ten "facts" about myself. You tell me which ones are true and which ones are false.
Ready? Then let's begin:

1. I had lunch in the principal's office every single day of fourth grade because I would not stop punching the boy I had a devastating crush on in the face to get his attention.
2. I was in a beauty contest at age 25 and fell off the stage into a potted palm.
3. I sold my swim team trophies to finance my first tattoo.
4. At age 22, I was the middle-weight mud-wrestling champion of my area for 3 months.
5. One of my ex-mothers-in-law tried to run over me with a sky-blue 1973 Buick.
6. I am allergic to oysters.
7. Ben Stein popped my bra strap once.
8. I was asked to leave Mexico and never return.
9. I am deathly afraid of chickens.
10. At age 4, inspired by a Wide World of Sports special on cliff divers, I tried to dive into the bathtub from a standing position on the top of the toilet. Two weeks after the stitches came out, I tried it the other way round. I still have the scars.

(once again, stolen from Lee at Oh No The Blog, although I know I've seen it somewhere else as well.... somebody will tell me, won't you?)

It Takes A Lot Of Balls To Play Music Like This

If I'm late for work today, this is going to be the reason... now at my 17th replay of it.
Animusic.
(tunefully found at Bifurcated Rivets)

Because It's Saturday and Incredibly Early and I Don't Want To Watch Cartoons

Down In Front

Jordana at Curmudgeonry has a variation on the Book List meme.... it's the 100 top grossing movies of all time. Same basics, though... bold the ones you've seen. Since I've seen most of them, I took the extra step and strike-through'd (is that even a word?) the ones I wouldn't see if you held a gun to my head.
And I'm seeing "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" this weekend. That will tidy things up a bit.

1. Titanic (1997) $600,779,824
2. Star Wars (1977) $460,935,665
3. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) $434,949,459
4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) $431,065,444
5. Spider-Man (2002) $403,706,375
6. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) $377,019,252
7. Passion of the Christ, The (2004) $370,025,697
8. Jurassic Park (1993) $356,784,000
9. Shrek 2 (2004) $356,211,000
10. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) $340,478,898
11. Finding Nemo (2003) $339,714,367
12. Forrest Gump (1994) $329,691,196
13. Lion King, The (1994) $328,423,001
14. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) $317,557,891
15. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) $313,837,577
16. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) $310,675,583
17. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) $309,125,409
18. Independence Day (1996) $306,124,059
19. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) $305,411,224
20. Sixth Sense, The (1999) $293,501,675
21. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) $290,158,751
22. Home Alone (1990) $285,761,243
23. Matrix Reloaded, The (2003) $281,492,479
24. Shrek (2001) $267,652,016
25. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) $261,970,615
26. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) $260,031,035
27. Jaws (1975) $260,000,000
28. Monsters, Inc. (2001) $255,870,172
29. Batman (1989) $251,188,924
30. Men in Black (1997) $250,147,615
31. Toy Story 2 (1999) $245,823,397
32. Bruce Almighty (2003) $242,589,580
33. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) $242,374,454
34. Twister (1996) $241,700,000
35. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) $241,437,427
36. Ghost Busters (1984) $238,600,000
37. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) $234,760,500
38. Cast Away (2000) $233,630,478
39. Lost World: Jurassic Park, The (1997) $229,074,524
40. Signs (2002) $227,965,690
41. Rush Hour 2 (2001) $226,138,454
42. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) $219,200,000
43. Ghost (1990) $217,631,306
44. Aladdin (1992) $217,350,219
45. Saving Private Ryan (1998) $216,119,491
46. Mission: Impossible II (2000) $215,397,307
47. X2 (2003) $214,948,780
48. Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) $213,079,163
49. Back to the Future (1985) $210,609,762
50. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) $205,399,422
51. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) $204,843,350
52. Exorcist, The (1973) $204,565,000
53. Mummy Returns, The (2001) $202,007,640
54. Armageddon (1998) $201,573,391
55. Gone with the Wind (1939) $198,655,278
56. Pearl Harbor (2001) $198,539,855
57. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) $197,171,806
58. Toy Story (1995) $191,800,000
59. Men in Black II (2002) $190,418,803
60. Gladiator (2000) $187,670,866
61. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) $184,925,485
62. Dances with Wolves (1990) $184,208,848
63. Batman Forever (1995) $184,031,112
64. Fugitive, The (1993) $183,875,760
65. Ocean's Eleven (2001) $183,405,771
66. What Women Want (2000) $182,805,123
67. Perfect Storm, The (2000) $182,618,434
68. Liar Liar (1997) $181,395,380
69. Grease (1978) $181,360,000
70. Jurassic Park III (2001) $181,166,115
71. Mission: Impossible (1996) $180,965,237
72. Planet of the Apes (2001) $180,011,740
73. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) $179,870,271
74. Pretty Woman (1990) $178,406,268
75. Tootsie (1982) $177,200,000
76. Top Gun (1986) $176,781,728
77. There's Something About Mary (1998) $176,483,808
78. Ice Age (2002) $176,387,405
79. Crocodile Dundee (1986) $174,635,000
80. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) $173,585,516
81. Elf (2003) $173,381,405
82. Air Force One (1997) $172,888,056
83. Rain Man (1988) $172,825,435
84. Apollo 13 (1995) $172,071,312
85. Matrix, The (1999) $171,383,253
86. Beauty and the Beast (1991) $171,301,428
87. Tarzan (1999) $171,085,177
88. Beautiful Mind, A (2001) $170,708,996
89. Chicago (2002) $170,684,505
90. Three Men and a Baby (1987) $167,780,960
91. Meet the Parents (2000) $166,225,040
92. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) $165,500,000
93. Hannibal (2001) $165,091,464
94. Catch Me If You Can (2002) $164,435,221
95. Big Daddy (1999) $163,479,795
96. Sound of Music, The (1965) $163,214,286
97. Batman Returns (1992) $162,831,698
98. Bug's Life, A (1998) $162,792,677
99. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) $161,963,000
100. Waterboy, The (1998) $161,487,252

Everything Old Is New Again

Sure, you can play the same old Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Or you can play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Spock, Lizard.

Much Talky, Talky

Vocab quiz.
Got 164 out of 200.
Pre-coffee.
I'm a great guesser.
(syllabussed at Blown Fuse, who got it from Snoozebutton Dreams)

Dexterity R Not Us

A new game.
Type your name using your....

nose: lann
elbow: ;lpreresajmnnmj
chin: ,leddeaznn
feet: leedann
eyes closed and one finger: lrrann
back of my hand: leenn
palm: lkeeanbnb
mouse: lpreerdnjn
wrist: l.ererasnmbnmb
boob: . RESa k
(tenderly fingertipped from The City Could Not Stop>

Play With Me So I Don't Have To Play With Myself

You're a Speak & Spell!! You nerd, you. Just
because you were disguised as a toy doesn't
mean you weren't educational, you sneaky
bastard.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(taken because it's MINE MINE MINE from Froggie's Lilypad)

Well, D'uh

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Cartoon Cartoon

Yet another avatar creator, found at Mamageek's and at My Monkey Mind.
To be honest, I looked more like the Mini-Mizer one than this.

I Have A Lightning Bolt Scar Too, But It's Elsewhere

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Tattletale

Yet a new memey thing rears its head, and this time I saw the rear at Oh No The Blog!.
And promptly snatched it up to be my very own.

Answer the following questions in the comment box:
1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

And feel free to snake it away for your very own so we can play in your sandbox too.

However Did They Find Out?

you are LORD FARQUAAD! you are conceited and
inconsiderate. perhaps because you're actually
insecure about yourself....?

what shrek character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(a big green guy brought this to me from Genuine)

Put Da Lime In Da Coconut And Call Me In Da Morning

10 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO:

1. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.

2. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park."

3. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

4. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

5. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."

6. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

7. Patient responsible for "200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

8. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.

9. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m"s on them.

10. You ask for Viagra and get a popsicle stick and duct tape.

(From Tonya, who sent me the coolest card ever.)

Please Send Lube

Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.

If Only

Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

Fiddle-fartin' Around, As My Papaw Used To Say

Everyone in the blogworld
has by now
diddled about
with pullquotes
and as usual
I'm a day late
and several IQ points short.
But still, doesn't it look so very... I dunno, peppy? If only this were actual content and not just stuff I'm typing so as to see what this looks like. Perhaps an amusing anecdote could be inserted here, or a pithy quote, or a witty saying.
Perhaps naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
Hmm, perhaps not.

Fashionista

This Worries Me

I admit it, okay, it wasn't sinuses at all. I was having some "quality" time in the "special" jacket.

Take the quiz: "Your Psych-Ward diagnosis"

Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosis: General Anxiety Disorder. Excessive anxiety or worry occurring more days than not over a significant period of time. These worries can be associated with a number of events or activities. In addition, the individual finds it difficult to control the worry. Can be marked by physical signs of tension, hyperactivity, and lack of ability to respond in a positive or productive manner to problems or difficulties as they arise.
(the voices in my head told me to find this at Emma's super place.)

Blogmaze Time

A day late and a dollar short, but nevertheless and heretofore I give you this week's Blogmaze, version Cheese.0:

First, to " "N" Is For Neville, Who Died of Ennui", which attracted me at first because I am a sucker for all things Gorey. Then I discovered that while the authoress might not have as sucky a job as I do, she's most certainly more bored and not hesitant about detailing it.
I like that. I like it a lot.

From there I went to Upside-down Hippopotamus. Seduced by the name, because of my infinite adoration for hippos, I fell in love with this report of bug killing, a theme of which I approve 110%.
"Yesterday I went into my living room and found a hundred thousand million billion ants crawling by the back door. “How did they get in?” you may be wondering. “Why did they come in? What were they doing?”
Who do I look like, the Ant Whisperer? How the hell should I know? I was far more concerned about how I was going to get them out."

I went onward to visit Tuna Girl, who gets the Cheese's approval because she too is a military spouse and gord knows I love my own kind. (Those of you whispering in the back about how no one quite knows what my own kind exactly is can just stay after class and see Sister Mary Torturous for a special detention. You little brats.)

By now I was tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk and felt the need to go find the proper refreshment to take my mind off my screaming sinus cavities, which will be seen to by a professional medical type tomorrow.
Proper refreshment, by the by, means beer.
For those of you taking notes for stuff to tattle on me to Sister M.T. later.
You know who you are.

Now With Amazing Archival Action!

The ever-so-talented Scott Matthews, about whom I've raved before, has improved his site to include nifty archives so as to increase your Clip Clop Comix viewing pleasure.
Go see, go see.

My Dad Sends Me Jokes

This one appeals to me.

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating, she's attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she's more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a baseball bat jammed up his ass while he's on fire.

I'm A Little Teapot

A challenge for you music lovers.... for each letter of the alphabet, list a band you truly like.
Since I have serious decision disorder, I cheated and put two or more if needed.

Aerosmith
Bloodhound Gang and Blondie
Cheap Trick and Crystal Method and Cooper, Alice
Duran Duran (thanks for reminding me, Tonya!)
Elastica
Fatboy Slim and Flash & The Pan
Garbage and Guns & Roses
Hell if I know
Incubus
Jack Logan & the Liquor Cabinet, and J.Geils Band
KMFDM
Linkin Park
Mott the Hoople and Meatloaf
Nilsson and Nine Inch Nails
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Police and Palmer, Robert
Queen
Redneck Greece Delux and Rundgren, Todd
Squeeze and Soubel, Jill
T. Rex and Talking Heads
No U2 (bleh)
Van Halen
White Stripes
X
Yankovic, Weird Al
Zevon, the only one
(hummed away from Eric, my favorite source for all things Zevonish)

A Carnival of the Memes

What's that, bunky? You're tired of having to chase all over the web to find the latest meme, the newest carnival, the hottest stuff that's got everyone....er... hot, I guess.
Well, whine no more, my delicate and distressed friend! Now from the fine folks who gave you Munu, there's new Memeblog! Guaranteed to have to latest and greatest of all you could ever wish to find to keep the bloggy homefires burning when the inspiration woodpile is running low.
Go there, now, quick quick like a bunny, and see how you, yes YOU, can be a vital participant and beneficiary of the best thing to hit the blogosphere's collective consciousness since Friday Five and What Potato Are You combined!
It's not just a blog.... it's Memeblog.

Couch

Q: How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two... one to hold the lightbulb and one to hold my penis.... no, my mother!.... my father!.... NO! the ladder!

Thar's A New Meme In Town, Pilgrim

In the void left by the departed Friday Five rides a new champion on a bloggy horse, to give new hope, new meaning, to the heartfelt "TGIF!" that springs eternal on all lips.
That champion, my friends, is Blogmaze.
And as I am never one to eschew bandwagon-jumpage (or rampant metaphor-mixation), here is my very first Blogmaze.
(Yes, I know it's Sunday, not Friday.... shhhh, you're ruining the moment.)

Sweet Surprise
What's not to like? A nice aquarium pic at the top, a cute recent college graduate, and conversations like I have sometimes.

Saint Kellen
This is one of the prettiest templates I've seen, but then I used to want a stained glass window tattoo'd on my entire back, so there's some context for you. The fascinating thing for me is how normal and nice SK's life sounds, if life resembles art blog. (The GM1 just shoulder-peeked and said in my case, life resembles fart. Excuse me while I go pollute his airspace.)

cowdog
I have to stop going to blogs that are prettier than mine, I'm getting a complex. *sniffle*. In other news, Louise is a teacher in Halifax, which is one of my "can't use a real cuss word because Mom will shit" alternates.... as in "oh Halifax, the coffee has mouse piddle in it!".

Blogmaze says to keep going as long as you want.... three, five... seven hundred and twelve blogmazy linkedness if you have some kind of neat setup where you never have to leave the computer to eat or poo.... but it's Sunday morning and I have to go to work pretty soon and, let's face it, the Cheesemistress is a lazy sot. "The number is three, and three shall be the number."

Tingle

You Are a Peppermint Cappuccino You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Department of the Obvious

You are an quiz-taker Find out what kind of quiz-taker you are

My Dad Sends Me Jokes

A car hit a 10 year old boy and drove off.
The boy was lying injured in the road.
A passerby ran up and asked the boy, "do you want me to find a priest?"
The boy replied, "How can you think of sex at a time like this?"

I Want A Lovely Bumblebee Tracksuit Too

"Kill Bill", the game.
I think I did pretty well, although I don't really know... it appears to be in Hungarian or something.
Fun knows no language barriers.
(sliced and diced by zenwanderer)

The Lure of Art

Xade, that little genius, has found another game to keep my mind off fairy floss stress..... Floats.

Never Get Involved In a Land War In Asia

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Recommended Reading

I was going to add on some illustrations from the book but there is a rather threatening injunction on the author's website telling me all the foul things that will happen if I do such a thing, so all I can do is tell you to have a friend buy it and copy it for you at work.
Yeah, like you were really doing something else more important?
I didn't think so.

Fable

Sex slaves, monkeys, and death moths.... how could anyone resist Temptation like this?
(gimped away from everlasting blort)

Actually, I Think Feminists Would Be Cute If They'd Just Shave Their Pits

I'm SCUM! Not militant at all.

I'm Going To Be Late For Work

And it's all Jeff's fault.
PS.... Thanks to wide-awake visitor Ben, I must amend this to give credit for finding this for me first to Zenwanderer. Sorry, Jeff, you were scooped.
Cheese for the both of yez, then!

Slip My Meals Under the Door

Thanks to Xade, I'll be playing this for the next... oh, I don't know, the next gazillion years or so.

Wait For It

My current favorite joke:

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"

No, I Don't Have Change For A Five

You're Exotic Dancer Barbie. You have some moves,
and will do anything for a few bucks. Take it
off girl, but keep it PG-13 please.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

At Least I'm Not CarrotTop

Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Quite Obviously, I Lied On All the Questions

I am sweet, like Sugar. I am all sweetness and light; fluffy bunnies and dancing fairies; happiness and joy. Too much of me will make you sick. What Flavour Are You?

Havin' Some Fun Now

I've been at this for an hour.
It's extra-special fun if you pretend it's someone you'd like to see pinned down all splayed out and at your dissectiony mercy. However, sadly the program doesn't allow for any improvisational slashing snipping.
In a side note, I never realized a frog's liver is so big. They must drink a lot.
Yep, my world is full of drunken frogs and maddened virtual knife-play.

SPF 5000

Even more satisfying than the Yeti vs. Penguin game.
Ant City.
(sighted at Quibbles and Bits, a nifty little bright spot indeed.)