tcsa

I Heart

For the most part, I don't run with the average crowd. I don't even stroll with the sub-par bunch. I am over there, sitting on the curb watching the stragglers pick up the half-eaten chili dogs and feed them to their real dogs, who are often named Chili.
You know what I mean? Neither do I. Let me start over.

There are quite a few things that I like or loathe despite overwhelming public opinion that I am mad to do so. Some might argue that I like or loathe these things because of overwhelming opinion that I am mad to do do. I disagree with this, as one of the things I loathe are mad people, mainly because of that icky drool factor.
But I digress... or did I? *insert mad laughter here*

I've decided this is going to be a more honest blog from now on. A truer-to-thine-ownself-be blog. A blog not ashamed to speak its mind on whatever pops up, no matter how small.
The whatever, not the mind. We are pretty clear on the mind-size, if you please.
In any case, here is a non-comprehensive list of Things I Like Or Loathe, mainly because I am being nudged to "fergodsake, just POST something!"

Things I Like and Maybe Why
1. I like Paris Hilton. I would, given my druthers, love to BE Paris Hilton. If I were Paris Hilton, my druthers would be goddamn solid gold druthers, you can bet the farm on that. Paris Hilton is beautiful and rich. She does as she pleases. If I were beautiful and rich, I'd be doing what I please. Yes, I want to be Paris Hilton, unauthorized video and all.
I particularly want a little doggy too. A solid gold little doggy. I'd name him Druthers.
2. Starbucks. I love Starbucks. I love the coffee, but I also love the place. It's reliable. You can go to any Starbucks in the universe and it's the same. Cool, green, tidy, nice music to sit and stare out the window while you have your coffee. Those who shriek about the downfall of western civiliazation caused by the proliferation of Starbucks can just wheel their hippie asses off to sip java in a dank local coffeehouse rank with the smell of patchouli and unwashed activists. Me, I'll take my nice Frappuccino over here where I can sit unmolested by petitions to save some obscure species of wood tit.
3. I love Wal-Mart. Why do I want to pay nearly twice as much for something because it's peddled from a shop flying the Mom and Pop flag, when it's blindingly obvious Mom and Pop are in it for the money the same as the giganto 'Marts? Trust me, Mom and Pop aren't saints just because they're local folks. I've worked for Mom and Pop and I've worked for the megas. I wouldn't cross the street to piss on Mom and Pop if they were on fire. At least Wal-Mart is entirely WYSIWYG. It's loud. It's dirty. It's full of people you rarely see outside of circus sideshows. And it's affordable. I'll put up with some freaky carny atmosphere if it will save me a dollar.
4. I adore cosmetic surgery. It's all hip nowdays to proclaim that aging the natural, graceful way is the way you want to go. Bullshit. Since when has looking like a shar-pei been considered graceful? When I win the lottery, first thing I'm doing is having the entire chassis overhauled. Throw in the paint job and I will be one happy woman. Natural, shmatural. I'm going the fluff and fold route, baby.
5. And reality television? My favorite. The tackier the better, as far as I'm concerned. "Survivor" is far from tacky, but I love it the most. When I want my trashy fix, I watch "America's Next Top Model." The ones I don't watch are the ones where I hate the leading subjects, like "Being Bobby Brown." I'd rather watch the neighbor's dog deposit some brown than watch Bobby and Whitney go national coverage ghetto on my screen.
6. Mysterious, inscrutable behavior. I could explain this one, but you aren't cleared for that information.

Next in our series... Loathe.