the cheese stands alone

Bubbles

I feel really really weird this morning. Non-focusing and dizzy to the point of falling over (which is only amusing the first three times, btw) and unable to type properly without backspacing every other letter. Okay, yeah, I do that backspacing thing even when I don't feel funky. Ignore that, doc.
I can't taste the coffee, and I just watched my screensaver for about thirty minutes. I thought it was Regis and Kelly. I should have known better. Kelly never wears anything that cool.
Now I just looked up the word "cool" in the dictionary because it didn't look right. The dictionary laughed at me for being an uncool fool's tool and I threw it in the aquarium. The goldfish have since rebelled and are living in my sock drawer.
I see dead tomatoes. Dead tomatoes! Where is Bruce when I need him?
After looking up my symptoms, I have come to believe I have decompression psychosis and will be out looking for a hyperbaric chamber if anyone needs me.
It might take a while, as I will have to walk. The gerbils have stolen my car to make a cerveza run to Tijuana.