tcsa

Taking the C-L Out of Class

So, I'm taking this Intro To Cycling class at the Y, because I am, as we all know, not an Outdoors Type Person and therefore don't normally have much truck with them bicycle things.
Fad. I'm telling you, it's just a fad.

The instructor, who is 6 feet tall and dared to complain that her body fat was a whopping 12%, had us each introduce ourselves and explain why we're interested in taking up cycling.
There were the expected answers, for the most part..."for my health".... "to get back into shape".... "to have a reason to go daily to the Pro Bike Shop and hit on the hot salesguy" (distrubing only because it was said by a 72 year old granny lady, who distinctly leered as she said it.)

When it was my turn, I said "To get rid of my enormous ass."
The instructor gasped. "You can't say "ass" here! This is the YMCA!"

Me: "I can't say 'ass'?"
Instructor: "No, you aren't supposed to say things like that at the Y. It's a family place!"
Me: "Say things like what?"
Instructor: "Like 'ass'. You can't say that."
Me: "So I can't use the word 'ass'. What if I fall off the bike and hurt my ass? What should I say?"
Instructor: "You could say 'bottom' or 'behind'. But not...you know."
Me: "I should say bottom or behind instead of 'ass', is that right?"
Instructor: "Yes, instead of ass."
Me: "Nobody can say 'ass' at the Y, then?"
Instructor: *very wearily* "Right."
Granny lady: "Even us older folk can't say 'ass'?"
Instructor: "NO! Nobody say 'ass'! Everybody, stop saying 'ass' right now!" *panting with frustration*
Entire class, suddenly rebellious: "ASS! ASS! ASS!"
Instructor: "Oh shit."
Granny lady: "You can't say 'shit'! This is the Y!"

I think we get a new instructor next week.