There was a mysterious note in my mailbox when I got home yesterday.
Wait, I should have started that "It was a dark and stormy night"....
Anyway, it was from the Post Office, and wasn't the monthly notice that the mail carrier's Lithium prescription had been refilled so it was okay to talk to him. No, it was one of those little cardboards telling me I had an "oversized envelope" that I could pick up at the main post office between 7:15AM and 7:18AM (if I want maximum old-lady-in-front-of-me-in-line-who-wants-to-buy-stamps-but-pay-for-it-all-with-pennies-
painstakingly-dredged-one-by-on-by-buggery-one-from-the-bottom-of-
the-slight-uriney-odored-plastic-carryall-she's-dragging-behind-her time.
The mysterious part was not "when in the hell will she run out of hyphens and get to the point?" but was the info in the sender box.
I am receiving something from "Adult Ed."
I do not know any Eds, truly.
Is it short for "Adult Education"? And if so, when did I sign up for it? And how did they determine that I'm an adult and not a six year old Pretty Pretty Princess trapped in a middle-aged Dowdy Dowdy Duchess body?
Is it from "Adult" Ed, as opposed to "Child" Ed, who never writes or calls. He's a child, for godsakes, people, what do you expect of him? Whoever he is, I mean.
More importantly, and from the GM1's point of view the main reason I should be pressed up against the Post Office doors waiting in hysteria for them to open, is it porn? Is it free porn? Is it quality free porn?
Or is it just another in a long series of vibrator catalogs?
Yeah, like there aren't enough of those cluttering up the magazine rack in the bathroom already.
What?
Be glad it's not from Special Ed.
Posted by: Da Goddess at April 9, 2004 08:10 AMGet ye to the post office, for crikes sake!
I'm sure it's a jumbo Adam & Eve catalogue, but ya never know...
Posted by: Tiffany at April 9, 2004 08:27 AMor it could be an Adam & jumbo Eve catalogue.
Posted by: Adam at April 9, 2004 12:30 PMAnd I thought *I* was the queen of the parenthetically hyphenated runon sentence. You have thrown down the gauntlet now and I can only retreat in shame and try to muster the will to someday fashion an anemic and pathetic imitation in homage to your greatness.
Posted by: topdawg at April 9, 2004 12:34 PMDear Ms. Cheese:
We regret to inform you that you have depleted your quota of hypens for the month of April. Please refrain from using said punctuation until 1 May 2004 or we shall be forced to fine you .05 per usage.
Very truly yours,
Ima Beyatch
Punctuation Police
-------
Kidding, sweetie. Juuust kidding.
Can I come over and look at your selection of catalogues? Heh.
Posted by: Emma at April 9, 2004 01:09 PMLeeAnn,
I have found some of the greatest tme wasters on your blog. I thought I would return the favor with this one;
http://www.subservientchicken.com
Thanks for blogging.
Brass.
It's the "Spear Britney" game!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=5223
You know you want to!
Posted by: zenwanderer at April 9, 2004 10:11 PMWhen I take over the universe, I am appointing TopDawg, Emma, Tiffany, and the Goddess to my cabinet.
Sorry, guys, it's gonna be a chick kinda place. :)
Thanks, zen and Brass.... now I have more reasons to be late to work. And of course I want to!
Go, now. It might be cheese. Take the cat with you. Leave the cat at the Post Office. Get the package. Open it. If it is not cheese, stop at the store and buy some cheese. No roquefort or limburger. I will be waiting. Don't forget. Leave the cat at the Post Office.
Posted by: Mr Mouse at April 10, 2004 11:49 AMwith you running the universe and a cabinet like that... well! Now there's somehting worth daydreaming about!
Posted by: goldie at April 10, 2004 07:23 PMYou forgot the part where the old lady really doesn’t have enough cash (pennies laboriously fished from the bottom of the purse), tosses the change back in her purse and starts to fish for her checkbook. She then proceeds to scrawl her illegible scribble on the check making those K-mart checkers look like they are moving at light-speed. Once this task is completed you dread the next verbal exchange, “drivers license please.” This ancient old lady then begins to argue that she has been shopping here since Pharaoh bought his fly swatters so why do I have to show my drivers license. All the while you are trying to distance yourself from the unwashed stench but the guy behind smells even worse and keeps crowding your space.
Yea, I’ve been there.
So, what was in the package?????
Posted by: drc at April 13, 2004 04:34 PM