the cheese stands alone

Those Impetuous Fools

Yesterday morning, March 14th, I heard a rustling at my front door.
*rustle papercrinkle rustle*
I went to investigate, seeing as how I was only partially dressed and it would be kind of funny to see some Domino's crappy-advertisement-stuck-on-my-doorknob-dispensing yokel fall down the stairs in shock.
Sadly, I was too late... and it wasn't the yokel.

I found two pieces of folded paper scotch-taped to my door. One was dated March 11th and announced that this was 7 day notice that on the 15th a maintenance worker would be entering my apartment to do "work." The other was dated March 13 and said this was my 48 hour second notice that on the 15th a maintenance worker would be entering my apartment to do "work."
Both delivered on the morning of the 14th. The math side of my brain did some quick calculations and went to 7/11, promising to bring me a Slurpie.
So I waited until Sunday hours were in effect and called the management office. Just curious, mind you, about what "work" entails. And why was it in quotation marks? Oh, and wondering about the whole time warp thing too.
No answer. I called on and off all day, because really, I have no life, and I got nothing by air.
At times like these I channel Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" and my inner psycho starts shrieking "I won't be IGNORED, Dan!"
A little technical background info here: I don't have an in-house phone, I have only the cell. And my number is caller ID blocked, because that's just the kind of withholding bitch I am.
More technical background info: If you call the management office after hours and leave a message, it will page a staff member at their home so they can review the message and see if it need immediate attention, like a fire or a cat caught in the garbage disposal (again).
What?
So I called them. I called them all evening long and left intense, complex messages.
Okay, so I called and let the voicemail record bits off the television and the sounds of me flushing the toilet.
I still don't know why maintenance is coming today, nor do I know what "work" they're going to "do". But I do know I took satisfaction last night in making my anonymous, prank-calling voice heard.
Kinda.
Yep, I am Joe's Vindictive Spleen.
I'd like to point out that I have a long and contentious history with the management office, so this is not just me going all Bart Simpson out of the blue, but the latest in a series of efforts to get my karmic pound of flesh for all the wrongs they've done me... okay, all the times they've pissed me off. And at no time do I encourage the impressionable youth of America to follow in my wicked footsteps and do such evil deeds. That's why we have Beavis and Butthead, right? And politicians. And those guys who invented speed bumps. And manufacturers of shoddy umbrellas that collapse on you in mid-downpour. And Domino's.