February 03, 2004

Drive By

One of my relatives is working her way through college as a pizza delivery driver...

"Something they never mention in training... when you deliver to some guys, penises just pop out of boxers. "

and

"I have a 200K volt taser, just in case. It's fun to play with. I paid a guy $5 to test it on. He was a really big guy, but I made him cry. So I figure it ought to do the trick."

My family is meeting all my expectations nicely.

Posted by LeeAnn at February 3, 2004 04:59 PM
Comments

Heh.

Wonder if I can borrow that taser...

Posted by: Da Goddess at February 3, 2004 07:11 PM

HAHA! They don't just "slip out." They saw one look at her, and it was all over!

Posted by: Lawren at February 3, 2004 07:22 PM

So, how long is the "frisky cherubs" layout going to last? At least the next ten days, I assume.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 3, 2004 07:29 PM

Better frisky cherubs and innocent seal-feeding than enormous Siamese cat boners, or so I've heard.
And yeah, maybe ten days or so.... :)

Posted by: LeeAnn at February 3, 2004 07:41 PM

LMAO

Posted by: Rachel in Alaska at February 3, 2004 09:30 PM

Enquiring minds want to know if the test subject had his penis popping out if his boxers before the taser shot? And if so, did it retreat?

Posted by: Teresa at February 3, 2004 09:41 PM

Hey! That shit never happened to me when I delivered pizzas.

Damn.

D

Posted by: David Strain at February 3, 2004 10:02 PM

I like the cherubs and the taupe--but why is your sidebar now a bottom bar?

Posted by: Susie at February 3, 2004 11:16 PM

I trust the boxers in question were smallclothes and not ugly little dogs.

Posted by: triticale at February 3, 2004 11:57 PM

Yes, below a certain width it bottombars.

You need a big monitor to go with your big fonts.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 3, 2004 11:59 PM

Susie- It's all sidebarry for me in both IE and Mozilla...
Pixy- Do you mean my big fonts or Susie? Because it's just the way these pants make it look, I swear.

Posted by: LeeAnn at February 4, 2004 05:53 AM

Although I was receptive to the Pepto pink, I love this layout. It's got "Laura Ashley" written all over it.

And major props to your relatives. It kills me that a guy let her taser him for 5 bucks. That's my kind of woman!

Posted by: Helen at February 4, 2004 06:16 AM

Pants?

No, I was talking about Susie's big fonts. If you shrink the window, the sidebary goes all bottombar. The fonts actually have nothing to do with it, which is why I mentioned them.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 4, 2004 07:37 AM

Thats freaking great.

Posted by: pylorns at February 4, 2004 09:22 AM

While I was with the New Mexico State Police as a reservist we use Tasers. Fun times. It was too fun watching a 6'5" tough guy on the ground crying and pissing himself.

Posted by: zenwanderer at February 4, 2004 10:48 AM

Man, I'd love to taser somebody. That just sounds fun on too many levels.

Posted by: Jim at February 4, 2004 11:03 AM

**waits in line for yaser use***

Posted by: Lee at February 4, 2004 11:18 AM

I was talking about Susie's big fonts

Janet Jackson looks like she has some big fonts, too.

Posted by: Scooterdeb at February 4, 2004 11:59 AM

Where can I get a taser?! My pepper spray "expired" a few years ago and I need a replacement.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 4, 2004 07:31 PM

All I can say is: thank gawd for the retirement of the Siamese Boner From Hell. That was just wrong.

Posted by: Light & Dark at February 4, 2004 08:35 PM

It's not DiGiorno, it's DiPenis.

Posted by: Jeff at February 4, 2004 09:55 PM

Maybe they just be saving money by having their own sausage to top their pizzas with and what better place to keep a sausage handy. Anyways spose that cat answered the door.

I like this layout

Posted by: Bob at February 5, 2004 10:02 AM