the cheese stands alone

I Was Cutting Edge And Didn't Know It (or, Everything Old Is New Again)

I took this little quizzy-listy thing back in June, way before Jane and Stevie discovered it.... and I took it uphill, both ways, in the snow, without all these newfangled....
/old broad rant

Ten Layers Of Me
LAYER ONE
-- Name: LeeAnn
-- Birth date: September 6
-- Birthplace: West Virginia
-- Current Location: Pearl Harbor, Hawaii California
-- Eye Color: green
-- Hair Color: light brown
-- Height: 5'2"
-- Righty or Lefty: lefty
-- Zodiac Sign: Virgo
LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Irishy, with a splash of Dutch/German. This explains the beer fixation and the anal-retentiveness.
-- The shoes you wore today: ancient black Converse high-tops.
-- Your weakness: cheese, cheese, sushi, cheese. Possibly cheese sushi.
-- Your fears: too damn many to list, but a sampling would include swimming in opaque water, bugs, crowds, boredom......
-- Your perfect pizza: thin crust with mushrooms and jalapenos
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: transform my pudgy self back into the nice size 6 I used to be (and world domination, of course)
LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on IM: I don't have IM. I get enough randomization in my social life just living in military housing the apartment complex that rents to Bellvue escapees.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "What, again?"
-- Your best physical feature: nice chewy bottom lip, and my lovely tattoos.
-- Your most missed memory: If it's a memory, then that means I remember it, right? So if I miss it, that means it's gone so I don't remember it, so it can't be a memory.... Do not fuck me around with this Catch-22 bullshit.
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: diet Pepsi, with a shot of citron vodka if the sun is past the yardarm
-- McDonald's or Burger King: mmmm, McDonald's, and screw the bad press they've been getting.
-- Single or group dates: neither. The GM1 prefers that I don't date. He's funny that way.
-- Adidas or Nike: Nike for serious workouts, Addidas for retro-style.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton iced tea, but I make it myself. Canned tea tastes oddly metallic, which I prefer to taste only after blowing robots (just checking to see if anyone's read this far.)
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla, because you can tart it up with chocolate or caramel sauce.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee. Lots and lots of coffee if I'm expected to function and not immediately slaughter innocents when I wake up.
LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: Never have. I don't think I've ever dated or married anyone who did. It must gross me out deeper than I realized. Dr. Freud? Would you like to discuss this?
-- Cuss: all the fucking time, you great wanking dickface.
-- Sing: in the car or in the shower, but never where anyone can hear me and report animal cruelty.
-- Take a shower everyday: sometimes twice. Sometimes three times. If I'm short on laundry, I showered fully-dressed. Hooray for efficiency!
-- Do you think you've been in love: many more times than was good for me, except this last one, which is still ongoing.
-- Want to go to college: have gone, on and off. I might like to continue just to finish my degree, but from what I read lately, college professors tend to be overly-liberal, PC nazis who I'd most likely walk out on. Plus, what does it say about the worth of a college diploma if you need one to be a bloody receptionist? What's next, requiring a Ph.D to deliver a pizza? Kind of cheapens it, to make it needed to get a basic entry-level minimum wage job. /rant
-- Like(d) high school: Oh hell no! I was a geek, and worse, a girl geek, which was like having two heads in the 70s. Some of my fondest fantasies are going back to a reunion and doing a Carrie to them.
-- Want to get married: I've done it four times, and only this last time was worth a shit. The first three were complete wastes of skin. I think I fancied myself a matrimonial Mother Theresa.
-- Believe in yourself: see-saw on that one. It often depends on if the day is a good hair day.
-- Get motion sickness: only on boats.
-- Think you're attractive: I don't scare small children (too bad) but I don't make grown men trip over their hard-ons either.
-- Think you're a health freak: I drink light beer, does that count? Oh, and I put the calcium-enriched orange juice in my screwdrivers.
-- Get along with your parent(s): I adore my mother. Let's stop there.
-- Like thunderstorms: as long as I don't have to drive in them, yes.
-- Play an instrument: I'd love to play the piano. (I was very tempted to insert a low, gutter-mouthed "skin flute" joke here, but I didn't. Classy points for me!)
LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Who do you think you're talking to? Have you never read my blog before?
-- Smoked: no.
-- Done a drug: I went to high school in the 70s. If you didn't partake of something at least once, you were obviously not human.
-- Made Out: yepper. The GM1 is a great kisser.
-- Gone on a date: We don't have dates. We have "episodes of social wandering".
-- Gone to the mall?: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: no, but I did hoover down an entire container of Pringles.
-- Eaten sushi: as much as I can get.
-- Been on stage: no
-- Been dumped: only by the deity of Common Sense. Don't get me started.
-- Gone skating: I wish.
-- Made homemade cookies: no. I don't cook/bake/prepare if I can avoid it.
-- Gone skinny dipping: does the bathtub count?
-- Dyed your hair: just a tiny bit
-- Stolen anything: I confess... the bank is less a pen because of me. Damn my thieving ways!
-- You sound boring: I prefer "uninstitutionalized". Okay, boring is accurate too.
LAYER SEVEN
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: back in the olden days when removal of my knee socks didn't expose my nipples.
-- If so, was it mixed company: yes, but they were not only mixed, they were mixed up, confused about their sexuality, and decided halfway into the game to go out for pizza and not return. Except for the one who passed out under the beanbag chair.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: see beanbag chair entry above.
-- Been caught "doing something": amazingly, never. Quite a few near-misses, though.
-- Been called a tease: yes, and damn proud of it.
-- Gotten beaten up: yep. Told you some of my ex-husbands were bastards, didn't I? There you go.
-- Shoplifted: junior high was like a Winona Ryder training film.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: yes, but was aware of it, like putting on a costume and giggling under the mask.
LAYER EIGHT:--
--Age you hope to be married: Oh, for the love of...
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I havehad a cat. I havehad a lot of cats. Too numerous and flaky to name or number.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: any one that didn't involve the first three losers. If I could re-wedding the one I had with the GM1, I'd change quite a few things (venue, reception, guest list, dress) but leave the best part alone (the GM1).
-- How do you want to die: painlessly, in my sleep, after making the Guiness Book of Records for Oldest Person Ever Ever That Wasn't Monkey-butt Senile.
-- Where you want to go to college: somewhere without political correctness or liberal bullshit.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: day late and a dollar short on that question.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Australia.
Layer Nine -
--Opposite sex (or the same?) both. I'm greedy.
-- Best eye color? brown
-- Best hair color? brown
-- Short or long hair: doesn't matter as long as it's nice and clean.
-- Best Height? medium or shortish
-- Best weight: for me 110 lbs., for a man 160ish
-- Best articles of clothing: jeans. Gotta go with the classics
-- Best first date location: zoo.
-- Best first kiss location: at the front door, after the goodbye and before the "what would you like for breakfast?"
LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: I grew up in the 70s. I stopped counting during freshman year.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: two- the GM1 and my mom.
-- Number of CDs that I own: without an accurate count, about 200.
-- Number of piercings: twelve. (eleven in the ears and one lovely bellybutton ring.)
-- Number of tattoos: ten currently, two more planned.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a couple of community theater reviews.
-- Number of scars on my body: tons. But as the old saying goes, "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory is forever."
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: did I mention my exes? Let's just say the first 29 years of my life. But oh, the revenge is sweet.