the cheese stands alone

Peevish

While amazingly today's trip out into shoppingland had no bizarre encounters, it did reawaken in me a list of stray peeves. *

1. Dark lipliner with pale lipstick. This produces a look my grandfather used to call "sucking hind tit." He's quite accurate.
2. If you aren't crippled but are merely Shamu-size obese, you don't belong in those little scooter-in-the-store things. If anyone needs to walk, it's you.
3. This isn't the third world, people. In America, there is a personal space of at least eighteen inches. Back off and quit wheezing down my neck. And when I move my purse around to the front of my body away from you, don't give me that injured/pissed off glare. It didn't work when I stepped back onto your instep, so why would it now?
4. Stalking me by following me to my car so you can have my parking space is one sure way of guaranteeing I am going to put my stuff in the car and walk back toward the store, just long enough for you to drive on past. Lady, there are at least 3 other spaces within a car-length. God forbid you might have to walk a parking space or two farther to get to your lazy, fat-ass-enabling scooter, right?
5. If I am in the right lane but not turning right on red, don't you dare honk at me from behind. I will dump the clutch and forget how to restart the car for at least two lights worth.
6. And finally, if you must have a screaming fit at your kids, please do it once you're past my driveway, not in the bloody middle of it.

That is all. Thank you.
I think Chez Cheese is due a little early Happy Hour.
* I don't like them enough to make them "pet" peeves.