the cheese stands alone

Yo Ho Yo Ho

I had to pick GM1 up from work yesterday, and I was 10 minutes late. Sure, I could have taken the better exit off the freeway and stealthed in through the less-travelled streets. But then I couldn't have gone down the back-of-the-base access road, the road dotted with triple-X movie theaters, the street decorated in obscene gang graffiti, the lane lined with lacivious ladies.

Yep, I took the long way round so I could see the hookers.

It's not that I'm shopping for the proverbial pound of flesh. Seeing these girls in all their spandex finery, flashing like neon parrots at 4 in the afternoon, it's a mini-carnival.
GM1 calls them Pay Per Do.

There are, at last count, three regulars in the space of as many blocks. One has an ass the size of Canada and a wardrobe entirely of tube tops and two-inch long miniskirts. Another has no ass but the most astounding rack ever implanted, usually in naught but a lacy suspension-bridge-ish wonderbra. The third has very little in the physical attributes, but she more than makes up for it in attitude, as she is prone to flinging herself into traffic and pressing her bare breasts on car windows.

And the hair.... the color, towering heights, and Eischer convolutions of the hair. I know why none of them carry purses- they could keep keys, spare change, and a set of handcuffs in most of those hairdos.
I can't wait for Christmas, because I know it will be time to trim those wigs like a department store tree.

There was a bit of a fight the other day as I drove by the nothing says tetanus shot like 4 for $1 mystery meat tacos taco shop the ladies frequent. Two of them were in a slap-battle, and during it all, no one dropped one crumb of the gigantic burritos they both held.
You have to admire technique.

I'm not crazy. I keep my windows rolled up in that part of town, and I lock all my doors. I sneak my peeks and don't make eye contact. I know the rules.
But I'd surely like to ask Miss Ass-The-Size-Of-Canada where she got those pink spike heels.
I mean... damn, those were some nice shoes.

Posted by LeeAnn at September 19, 2003 11:36 AM