In a book I've been reading about renowned crackpots, Lord Baden-Powell (in his book "Rovering For Success") warned against the dangers of masturbation:
It cheats semen getting its full chance of making up the strong manly man you should otherwise be... you are throwing away the seed that had been handed down to you as a trust instead of keeping it and ripening it for bringing a son to you later on. (italics mine)
It just creates a very squishy mental picture for me. And I'm damn sure never going to shake hands with Lord B-P, considering.
Oh, and he's dead, but that's only a secondary reason.
And Tupperware containers, I'm seeing lots and lots of Tupperware containers in this idea.
I'm reminded of the classic Woody Allen-as-sperm line:
"I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling."
I'll never forget the day the story moved that masturbation had anti-oxident benefits. One of the guys at work stood up at his desk and loudly announced, "I'M GOIN' HOME TONIGHT AND KILLIN' SOME CANCER.''
Posted by: Jeff at July 28, 2005 11:30 AMOh.
My.
God.