In a book I've been reading about renowned crackpots, Lord Baden-Powell (in his book "Rovering For Success") warned against the dangers of masturbation:
It cheats semen getting its full chance of making up the strong manly man you should otherwise be... you are throwing away the seed that had been handed down to you as a trust instead of keeping it and ripening it for bringing a son to you later on. (italics mine)
It just creates a very squishy mental picture for me. And I'm damn sure never going to shake hands with Lord B-P, considering.
Oh, and he's dead, but that's only a secondary reason.
And Tupperware containers, I'm seeing lots and lots of Tupperware containers in this idea.