tcsa

I've Come To Realize I Basically Do Memes To Jog My Flacid Memory

What I was doing ten years ago......

Lesse, I was living in San Diego, down by the beach, next door to a meth freak who thought 8 speakers was too "pussy" and wanted more. Upstairs was an ex-Navy chick, kicked out on a less-than-honorable, who turned tricks in her van a few blocks from her house. She had a very-large-for-his-age retarded son who like to drop bags of potting soil off the balcony, aiming for people on the sidewalk. He killed her parakeet collection (all 15 of them) by feeding them crayons.... except for the lovebird. That one he played Ozzy Osborne with.
Best line heard screamed from upstairs: "Kenny! Git that bird OUT of your mouth!"
Yes, but did I mention it was by the beach?

5 years ago:
We had just arrived for the GM1's shore duty rotation in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, and I have just been physically restrained from leaping over a desk to throttle the Housing drone, who insisted on reading to us in zombie-monotone a complete list of housing units, with the coda after each entry "But you can't have that one."
I snapped around number 13.
We finally got the nicest house possible... after another Housing drone took pity on us after our sixth "go see it".
And then the cats came... but that's another story.

1 year ago:
With the GM1 taken away from me on his last deployment of his career, I was preparing to go on the Vacation To Hell.

Yesterday:
I killed six crickets and the remainder of a bottle of Bailey's Irish Creme.
It was a good day.

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Cheese
2. Pizza
3. Anything from McDonald's
4. Mustard straight from the jar.
5. Sushi

5 songs I know all the words to:
1. Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
2. Army (Ben Folds Five)
3. Ballad of Chasey Lain (Bloodhound Gang)
4. Universe Song (Monty Python)
5. Birdhouse In Your Soul (They Might Be Giants)

5 Things I would do with $100 million:
1. Pay off all our bills
2. Buy a house wherever the GM1 wants.
3. New VW Beetle, painted plaid.
4. Mercedes for my mom.
5. Hit man.

5 locations I would like to runaway to:
1. A luxurious hotel with room service.
2. A house in the middle of 250 acres in a nice climate.
3. A desert island with a mansion and all modern conveniences
4. William Gibson's version of the future.
5. Disney World.

5 bad habits I have:
1. Inability to rein in my clever wit.
2. Too damn gorgeous for my own good.
3. Stopping traffic with my adorable behavior.
4. Not organizing my vast collection of jewels from admirers.
5. Pathological lying. Too much humility.

5 things I like doing
1. Reading.
2. Watching reality TV.
3. Movies.
4. Discouraging Jehovah's Witnesses at the laundromat.
5. Tap dancing in the shower.

5 things I would never wear:
1. Anything "my age".
2. Stretch pants.
3. White gloves.
4. Rubber flip flops.
5. Granny panties.

5 TV shows I like:
1. Survivor.
2. Lost.
3. Green Wing.
4. Battlestar Galactica.
5. Deadwood.

5 Biggest joys of the moment:
1. GM1
2. World of Warcraft
3. I can't hear any neighbors.
4. Killing crickets.
5. BBC America runs "Black Adder" on Thursdays.

5 Favorite toys:
1. My computer.
2. The blender.
3. My vibrator.
4. The aquarium.
5. The backup vibrator.
What?

Posted by LeeAnn at July 18, 2005 05:13 PM