June 30, 2005

Ti-MING

I hate crickets. I hate 'em a lot.
They're icky. They're icky bugs. They're loud icky bugs.
And since I hate 'em so, I notice 'em more.
So when a particularly loud cricket with aspirations of being a car alarm or Ted Nugent parked itself on my front doorstep in the wee hours of the dawn, I was not amused. But I'm an adult. I have restraint. I know what matters and what doesn't.
But I lacked coffee-fueled patience... which is why after a few teeth-grinding minutes of "ignoring" it, I flung open the door, stomped out on the porch in my pajamas, giant-economy-sized can of Raid brandished like a flaming sword, and shrieked, "SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!"

I doubt we'll be getting the newspaper delivered anymore.
On the other hand, we won't be bugged for that $2 either.

Posted by LeeAnn at June 30, 2005 08:00 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Dang. Another Kodak moment missed.

Posted by: Edith at June 30, 2005 10:21 AM

You've got crickets delivering the Times?

Wow. That's a wholly untapped work force, innit?

Posted by: Margi at June 30, 2005 11:09 AM

We had a cat that hated crickets, too. It would literally chew just the back legs off, so they couldn't make their insidious racket any longer. We would find these crickets, still alive, but unable to move or make any noise.
Nice kitty, here's some more milk.!!!

Posted by: DixieDarlin' at June 30, 2005 05:11 PM

One of our kitties just loved to eat crickets. When we spotted one in the house she would come running when we called her and eat it with a crunchy glee. At this point we didn’t realize the contractor had failed to seal the foundation and we were shortly to be overrun with crickets. After the first week more and more crickets began to overrun the house. Poor kitty got to the point that she would just sit and stare angrily at us and would no longer crunch down the crickets. Not wanting to spray toxic stuff in the house because of the cats we found by accident that squirting the crickets with a mixture of soapy water caused them to seize and die.

Posted by: Azygos at June 30, 2005 07:40 PM

Better off dead....right? What? damn...this isn't the Snooze? No points? Can you let Jim know I guessed one. I am a points whore you know. I want my 2 dollars. I want my 2 dollars...Ok I'm done now.

Posted by: Tiffani at July 1, 2005 04:15 PM

I went to college with that $2 kid.
He pretty much looked exactly the same.

Posted by: Xinh at July 6, 2005 08:28 AM