the cheese stands alone

It's the Little Things That Count

I just now:

1. Tripped over the rug on the way into the kitchen and
2. Stubbed my toe un-kerphluffing the kerphluffed rug in time to
3. Tweak my knee climbing up on the climbing stool to get the microwave popcorn and made my other knee jealous of attention so I
4. Stepped wrongly off the climbing stool and tweaked my other knee.
5. Got a microwave popcorn cardboard box cut, much more difficult to get than a mere paper cut.
6. Caught my thumb in the slamming microwave door and was distracted by that particular pain so I
7. Hit the wrong button on the microwave and didn't notice until I
8. Burned the popcorn and in my rush to make it stop
9. Burned the beejeebers out of my fingers getting the popcorn near enough to the trash can to
10. Dump it all over the floor instead of the trashcan so I could
11. Cut and cauterize my foot on a superheated piece of supercrunchy kernel, allowing me to
12. Bleed all over the just-unkerphluffed rug, which happens to used to have been be white.
13. And in the throes of this kind of Rube-Goldbergian luck stream I daren't try to get it quickly bleached out because most surely I will
14. Wind up looking like Michael Jackson
15. And I am so not into 13 year old boys this year.
16. Just sneezed like an elephant on pepper from the burnt popcorn smell and now I
17. Have to get a squeegee for the monitor.

I give up. Going to bed. Technically this is a nonlethal activity, although I'd not bet if I were you.