Dear Jose you sadistic bastard,
Please for the love of whatever evil demon you worship postpone cease and fucking desist already your much-appreciated sorely resented when forced upon us at a significant rent increase for "maintenance", which is far as we can tell you and your buddies standing in the parking lot gossiping about the chicas landscape work chopping up random bits of ice plant and perfectly good shubbery until you hacked it to bits with an electric fork, particularly the leaf-blower the trees are all naked now, are you happy? Naked trees... in southern California... where impressionable young children can see them until after 9 10 11 noon just fuck off already, won't you? AM. Some of us me, it's all about me have nonstandard buggered beyond all belief working hours remember work, Jose? That thing you are supposed to be doing when you aren't playing Jedi knight with the rakes with Juan and would appreciate might not rise up en masse and shove your leaf blower directly up your ass if you just STOP IT RIGHT NOW the chance for a little extra sleep and a gallon of vodka, some tranquilizers, and the lottery in our favor
Sincerely don't fuck with me, I'm a cranky PMS-y little woman with a really nice gun I got for my birthday a few years back and I have no chocolate anywhere in the house so you can see, can't you, that your very existance is cause enough for me to get my ass OUT of this chair and play Dirty Harry.
LeeAnn psychotic bitch on a rampage and where the hell is my coffee?
I have chocolate coffee and earplugs. Would that help?
Posted by: Tammi at November 19, 2004 12:13 PMOh I love it! May I borrow this to use on our landscape workers around here?
Posted by: Teresa at November 19, 2004 01:36 PMYears ago when we were living in an apartment we were awakened at 5 AM by Jose and the Mexican blower parade. The spousal unit went to the balcony and yelled at Jose to turn the damn blower off and go away.
He responded No habla English.
She responded Se’habla Smith and Wesson.
He shut off the blower and went away.
Posted by: Azygos at November 19, 2004 07:41 PMHAH, too funny
Posted by: Liz at November 20, 2004 12:25 PMROFL. It's so hard to silence the little voices in our heads, even when there's a leafblower running.
I've been at home calling people about jobs left and right. And they've been treated to idiots with leafblowers falling over our CARS in the lot below.
Posted by: dawn at November 22, 2004 03:32 PM