While we're on the subject of fortune-telling and the like, I have to say I usually don't pay much attention to my horoscope, despite how very much I've always wanted to be just like Nancy Reagan. (I mean, have you seen me in my red suit? To die for, dahling.) I have a much more accurate metaphysical forces barometer: the handheld solitaire game in my bathroom.
This silly $5 piece of plastic is damn near unbeatable. So when I do manage to win a game, I know it's going to be a good day. Many's the numbed bum I've suffered, sitting there playing game after game after game, looking for a sign from the gods that today is the day, oh yes, today IS the day.
I've tried variations on this method, such as asking a question of the Psychic Solitaire Game, but I gave up on this when only my ass was answering.
So today, according to my methodology, is going to be a Good Day. And it only took until one cheek was completely asleep to do it.
Let the planetary alignment and Uranus jokes begin.
"...and Jupiter aligns with Maaaaaars!"
Posted by: Tiffany at October 13, 2004 10:16 AMMaybe you could attach a phsychis eight-ball window to the bottom of this widjit. When you feel the first cheek start to "go", you can just ask it if you're going to have a good day, get your answer, and get out of there before you wind up with the seat ring permanently emblazoned upon your nether regions.
Posted by: Johnny - Oh at October 13, 2004 05:58 PMHmmm - she's disappeared again. Maybe she's stuck inthe bathroom playing solitaire... or maybe she got stuck in those pantyhose she was using for the job interview. I think we should send out search parties!
Posted by: Teresa at October 15, 2004 09:13 AM