July 19, 2004
You Can't Win If You Don't Play
Yes, of course, we believe you. When you win the lotto, you're not going to change. You're going to be the same old regular Joe or Jane (or both, but I don't like to pry) you always were. You're going to keep your job, and you're going to put a ton of money in trust funds and savings, and you're going to give a hefty amount to charity, and build that park on the vacant lot where the tweakers shoot up.... because, you know, it's all about the children.
C'mere. Over here, where it's private, just you and me.
Bullshit time over. You've got a ton of money. And I know you've got that secret list.
What are you gonna do with all that moolah?
(leave your list in the comments.... mine is in the extended entry doowally.)
Stuff LeeAnn Is Going To Spend A Pile On, Because I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, the People Like Me.
1. New digital camera, with a bigger memory capacity than 12meg, because that's all this old p.o.s. I got scammed by my own father purchased used from a close family member will bear. It's so freakin' old, the pictures are chisled on tiny peebles by gnomes and excreted through an apeture in the rear.
Heh, she said excreted.
And I want to be able to post entries like this.
2. Yeah, a house. Yeah, a car. Yeah, a vacation home in the tropics with poolboys and faucets that run with icy margaritas 24/7. But what I really want is one of these cuties:
3. And so I have something to use that fancy-schmancy digital camera on,
beside pictures of my new dog Jesus (I have always always wanted a Chinese
Crested puppy named Jesus. Pronounced the non-Mexican way. Humor me.) driving my new car (yes, Jesus will drive my car. My plaid new VW Bug. Again, humor me.) to my tastefully-decorated home out in the hills away from the hoi-polloi, I will have the exclusive services on tap of the best plastic surgeon I can find. I'm not just getting new boobs and a lift kit. Oh no, I'm getting it all. New arse, new eyebrows, new toes. Fluff and fold, baby, fluff and fold.
4. And of course, being the sweetheart I am, I'll get a little something for the GM1.
So, just between me, you, and the gatepost... what's on your list?
Posted by LeeAnn at July 19, 2004 07:45 AMI'd totally pay off all my student loans, then buy a house with a HUGE yard for my dog and a HUGE pool for me. Then I'd buy a new car. Then I'd get a ton of liposuction. Then I'd go on vacation to Europe and be totally slutty.
I'd pay off the mortgage, pay off the extra lot, buy the next lot over, and if there was any left after all that, I'd pay off the SUV.
And if any was left after all that, I'd buy a sound system that would let me play any one of 100 CDs and have it piped in to any room in the house I wanted it, and probably some books. Oh, and some more CDs.
Or maybe I should buy some stuff for the kids....
Posted by: Julia at July 19, 2004 09:32 AMI have a cousin who actually won the Texas state lottery. We haven't seen or communicated with each other since we were kids but I hear from other family memembers that he hasn't really made any big changes in his life.
I want a new house but I'd build it right where this old shack is sitting because, other than the house, I like it here. New pickup, new whatever vehicle the hubby decides he wants. New stereo and a s__t-load of CDs. Then I think I'd go to college and get a liberal arts degree just for fun. Yes, that's my idea of fun. Honestly. Besides the hubby would probably quit his job which means I would have to do something to get out of the house for a little while every day or he would drive me insane.
Posted by: Lynn S at July 19, 2004 09:34 AMOh... and a new computer. Of course.
Posted by: Lynn S at July 19, 2004 09:36 AMI would get a house with horse property, which includes a pasture, indoor-outdoor arena, near a beach so I can ride on the beach. Then I'd have a horse, a dog, a beautiful slant load trailer and the truck to pull it. The BMW X5 will be for the everyday driving and the Boxster will be for the weekends. A stocked wardrobe that gets replenished each new season with shoes to match. I'd get any degree I wanted, maybe even two. My sister, mom, niece and dad would be taken care of..meaning car and house for each. Then I'd live off the interest of whatever was left over.
Posted by: tiffanie at July 19, 2004 10:02 AMA lil chewowow with a toupe like that one yer gonna get named Jesus could just ride on yer dashboard. If I strike it big I'm prolly gonna get underwear cause poverty has been chaffing me.
Posted by: Bob at July 19, 2004 10:21 AMOoooh, shoes! How could I forget shoes? And a new computer.. heck, one for every room of the house.
Bob, the chafing will stop if you'd quit substituting duct tape for thongs. :)
Posted by: LeeAnn at July 19, 2004 10:25 AMI'd pay off all my debts, buy the house next door for me, this one for my sister. I'd buy a house for my best friend and then get myself the Volvo C70, and pay off Mom, & sisters cars.
I'd get a new computer, new surround sound system and HELL YES I'd quit work. I'd go into motivational speaking and work when I want.
Oh and clothes...I'd buy clothes and shoes and pretty panties and thongs, with matching bras.
Yeah, and liposuction. Gonna need that.
Have I run out of space yet?
Posted by: Tammi at July 19, 2004 02:17 PMA Big-ass oceanfront house.
A recording studio (in da big-ass house)
A Big-ass, fully stocked (with top shelf stuff)bar in the big-ass house.
Lots of Books.
A Harley (I promise to be careful)
A Corvette and a Porsche Boxter.
A large pepperoni pizza (See? I really wouldn't change.)
*perk* Pizza? Did I hear "pizza"?
Posted by: LeeAnn at July 19, 2004 08:23 PMHmmm. Sell my current house, buy a bigger and nicer one. Price of house will depend of the pot. :D Get all the upgrades I want. Designer kitchen -- big pretty tiles, stainless steel fridge, dishwasher and stove. The most expensive washer/dryer money can buy. New vehicles for hubby and I (he has his picked out, I haven't yet). Give money to selected relatives that I like. :D Donate to my two favorite charities (no, not for the children, I'm afraid.) And go travelling with hubby. :) Oh, have I mentioned the pretty landscaped, in-ground pool? :)
Posted by: parsonii at July 20, 2004 11:17 AM(1) [Obligatory pay-off-bills statement.]
(2) My aunt gets the best house on Long Island money can buy.
(3) I get the best house in Flagstaff, Arizona money can buy.
(4) Dad gets a Porsche.
(5) What the hell--I get a Porsche.
(6) Two words: Personal. Trainer.
(7) Two more words: Personal. Chef.
(8) Is there anything left after two homes and two cars? That I invest.
(9) And live off the interest or a stipend.
(10) And never, ever, ever work again.
Move to the U.S. and build MuNu Central. With a gigabit internet connection.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at July 20, 2004 04:43 PMTwo words.
Hookers and blow in Vegas baby.
Wait. That's more than two words. Ah, what the hell, I'm rich and can afford more than two words.
Posted by: Brass at July 23, 2004 12:58 PM(1) A big chunk of land in Washington, Idaho, or Montana-with trees and hopefully hills. Big enough that I can build a 200 yard rifle range with no danger to the neighbors, and big enough to hunt on.
(2) Build a good size log house on said land.
(3) Army surplus jeep to drive around on said land.
(4) Lots of guns to shoot on 200 yard range on said land.
(5) All the kids go to private school, pre-school through high school at least.
(6) Quit my job, watch the kids, and let my wife get a degree, whatever she wants to study. Then, when she's done, I'm going back to school to get a degree in brewing. Yes, you can get a degree in that.
(7) I'll probably need an old school Chevy Blazer or Dodge Ram Charger to drive in to town from my big chunk of land. One with a monster V-8.
(8) A big huge dog, Irish wolfhound maybe, that will eat little yap dogs like chihuahuas.
(9) A killer home theater for my big log home on my big chunk of land.
(10) The wife gets the post-kids erase the stretch marks surgery she speaks of every now and then. And lasic, too.