November 18, 2004

A Useful Earworm

Rather than having a bit of song stuck in my head, I have a quote from a movie.
It's from "Soapdish", during the scene where Kevin Kline's character is too vain to wear his glasses to read the teleprompter, and thus interpets the line "Her brain could literally explode within three hours." to "Her brain could laterally explore within three houses."
For some reason this never fails to giggle me up.

I've had this phrase pop up, on and off, ever since I saw the movie years ago. I wondered if there were any reason for it, and then I read "Pattern Recognition" by the greatest author of all time, William Gibson. The main character has a sort of phobia that causes anxiety attacks, and when she feels on coming on she repeats a seemingly-nonsensical phrase to herself, from an old family story..."He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots."
I've noticed I do the same thing.
Not take a duck in the face, that would be downright painful.
The point is, saying "Her brain could laterally explore within three houses" has become my anti-bad mantra. Stuck in an unpleasant crowd situation? "Her brain could...." Aggravated to the point of armed mayhem by coworkers and customers? "...laterally explore within..." Ritualistically buggered up the backside by both the cable company and your ex-relatives? "...three houses."

Do any of you have the more phrase-based version of counting to ten? What is it? Curious Cheeses want to know.

Posted by LeeAnn at November 18, 2004 06:53 AM

When I get irritated with someone, I merely think to myself, "I hope you die screaming, choking on your own blood, while praying to a God indifferent to your suffering."

It helps :-)

Posted by: Harvey at November 18, 2004 08:53 AM

What the world REALLY needs is a fountain of intelligence. We have enough young people.

Posted by: Martha at November 18, 2004 11:51 AM

What got me through getting my mom moved out of her old house was, "At least this is character-building." (That and a certain Alanis Morissette song, which one I can't remember now.)

A few years later, I came to the conclusion that, beyond a certain point in your life, your character is built, and it's all just character-testing from there on out. So there goes that particular mantra....

Posted by: Julia at November 18, 2004 12:27 PM

And I've got a quote from some Dilbert cartoon strip: "Out! Out! You demons of stupidity!". Just love it :)

Posted by: Ines at November 18, 2004 01:01 PM

mine (whilst gritting teeth meanwhiley):

"A whole lot of people take a whole lot more shit for a whole lot less money."

Posted by: Bob at November 18, 2004 02:09 PM

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Or my alternate:

"Under the spreading chestnut tree the village smithy stands."

I guess we can peg my introduction to stress at 8th grade English class.

Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2004 05:11 AM

"Gosh 'n Golly Buffalo Bob-a-Rooney"

Don't ask.

Posted by: Beth Donovan at November 20, 2004 08:16 AM

When stuck behind a little-old-driving-15-mph-man/woman in traffic I usually mutter "Come on, people!" and then have to ritualisticly continue "Smile on your brother...everybody get together, try and(etc etc)"

Posted by: Susie at November 20, 2004 10:13 AM