I'm "on call" today. That means if something goes awry at work they'll call me and I'll have to go in and man (floozie?) the fairy floss cart. Which beggars an interesting question: what the hell could possibly be so bloody urgent about fairy floss that they'd have to send out for help? Not like there could be a shortage... the workplace is chock-full of fairy floss, popcorn, and Big Honking Pretzel carts, like mines in a battlefield, tucked behind bushes and plopped in the middle of walkways.
It's just another way of upper management saying "We have you now. We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We say frog and you jump. We fantasize a lot, too."
But on a tangent.... what other jobs is it silly to think they have "emergencies"?
Such as....
Ice cream truck: "Look, the baby's been peacefully napping for over 15 minutes.. where is that damn ice cream truck with its annoyingly piercing music?"
Convenience store clerk: "Oh my god, we're out of Slurpee Starter (patent pending) and Akmed is the only one who knows how to make it! Lock the doors! LOCK THE DOORS!"
Air conditioner repairman at the North Pole: "No ma'am, we don't make weekend calls. Open a freekin' window, why doncha?"
Pool cleaner: this only happens in letters to Penthouse
Is your job "emergency-ible"?
Posted by LeeAnn at June 9, 2004 06:45 AMI'm an engineer for rotating equipment for the petrochemical industry. If a fire breaks out and a plant goes down, we go into emergency mode - 60+ hour work weeks. Since there isn't any excess refinery capacity in the US and millions of dollars a day in production are lost when a plant goes down, that's usually considered an emergency. I've been on call for those.
Posted by: Michael at June 9, 2004 08:20 AMAs a part-time semi-retired professional blog reader I'm often on call to make emergency comments. Some days I can't get my cellphone to stop vibrating long enough to take a whiz without missin the terlet! The bill's in the mail, Missy and there's a dry cleaning surcharge this time.
Posted by: bob at June 9, 2004 01:44 PMReal Story, sorry for the long comment
Speaking of Ice Cream Trucks: One kept coming through the subdivision with music (greensleeves) playing so loud I couldn’t talk on the phone inside the house. The operator at the police department kept asking me to turn down the music so she could hear me better.
Me: There’s an Ice Cream Truck outside with really loud music.
Operator: What, I can’t hear you, turn down the music.
Me: I’m not playing any music
Operator: But I hear greensleeves playing
Me: I know, it’s an Ice Cream Truck outside
Operator: What? I can’t hear you, turn down the music
Me: (Yelling into the phone) I’M NOT PLAYING ANY MUSIC IT’S THE ICE CREAM TRUCK FROM HELL OUTSIDE PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE
Operator: Ice Cream Truck?
Me: YES
Operator: Can you get the license plate number
Me: (Opening front door) YES, I’LL TRY
Operator: What?
Me: JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO GET THE LICENSE PLATE NUMBER
Operator: What?
Me: (Thinking) Just tell the police to follow the fleeing crowds with blood running from their ears. JUST WAIT A MINUTE UNTIL IT DRIVES AWAY
Me: (After I have walked over to the truck and hold the phone up to the driver) HERE, THE POLICE WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOU BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO TURN DOWN THE MUSIC FIRST.
Ice Cream Truck Driver: Shakes head no, jumps in the drivers seat and speeds off.
I never saw him again thank G*d
The operator was laughing so hard by the time I hung up, I bet she kept a recording of the Ice Cream Truck from hell call.
Azygos, you've obviously been a neighbor of mine at some point.
LeeAnn, I feel for ya. Do you get "on call" pay?
Posted by: Da Goddess at June 10, 2004 12:10 AMI worked for AAA in the Road Service department (lots of interesting stories) in Michigan. In case you didn't know Road Service is what they offer to members who break down on the road, yada yada yada. Anyway on everyday off your on call incase they need you. This means (for example) if it snowed to much you were called in to help with the excessive about of calls. Although if everyone else is getting stuck and calling us how do they expect us to get in any easier? Thank god I do not work there anymore.
Posted by: Machelle at June 10, 2004 06:12 AMI just cant get the image of a Fairy floss emergancy out of my head, Children crying, mothers wailing. CNN, sky news and bbc news 24 all with live on the spot coverage and an interview with the manager saying "it's ok we have the situation in hand we have called in the on call fairy floss worker to help aleviate the situation."
Hmmm that gives me a great idea for a movie.
P.s Judging by the raging interlect of your co workers in previous posts anything could happen so i would'nt plan a trip.
Posted by: Jeremy at June 10, 2004 04:53 PMJudging by the number of customers who threatened to sue us for denying them their God-given right to salt and cholesterol when the popcorn popper broke down, I can see how a fairy-floss shortage could create an emergency situation--The Cheesemistress would be in charge of riot control...
Posted by: Susie at June 10, 2004 10:26 PMFor five weeks I was the system administrator on call for a mid-size phone company. I got an average of four emergencies a day.
Near the end of my stint one of the guys in the Operations Centre decided it would be funny to page me in the middle of a meeting the the CEO and CTO.
He lived. Sort of.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at June 11, 2004 06:53 AMI work in the infrastructure end of cellular communications. My landline phone number is in the emergency on-call database (my mobile is company provided, complete with unlimited minutes) but I'm at the bottom of the list. The cell techs and switch crew are on call. In fact the equipment has the ability to page people if certain alarms go off.
I do sometimes work odd hours by prior arrangement, or have my assignments changed because of emergencies, but I've not been called in because of an equipment failure. All I'd be qualified to do is verify the problem and maybe reset or swack (a technical term, not percussive maintenance) the equipment.