"dire-rear
the mad poops
the skitters
the Hershey squirts
spontaneous high colonic
diarrhea
got it?"
Yes, I am on the mend and progressing toward a goop-free sinusy lifestyle, thanks to modern medicine and lying about like a discarded sock plenty of rest. Since one of the side effects of the current antibiotic is dire-rear (say it fast, it sounds just like what causes it), I had the most recent doc write me a Note For Work, more accurately a note to not have to go to work until Day X.
Now, ever since I got the plague was taken ill, I have been entirely By The Book as far as work is concerned. I called in sick every morning within the appropriate time window to the correct office. I turned in the appropriate notes and the appropriate forms to continue to be ill. I have been textbook appropriate.
And, appropriately enough, the department manager has called me every morning to tell me what time to be at work that day.
DM: "Um.... you know you're scheduled to work the fairy floss cart today at 10 AM, right? You'll be there, right?"
Me: "DM, I told you this yesterday, and the day before.... I filled out the forms and stuff, my return-to-work date is the 5th."
DM: "The what? The 5th? The 5th of what? What?"
Me: "Check the paperwork, it's all there. She made six copies. They can't all be lost."
DM: "Oh... here it is. The 5th? Are you sure? This shows a rather disrespectful attitude, to be absent so long, you know...."
Me: "DM, the medication gives me diarrhea."
DM: "Um.... what?"
Me: "It gives me diarrhea. The mad poops. The skitters. The Hershey squirts. Spontaneous high colonic. Diarrhea."
DM: "Ummmmm.... oh, and this should keep you from working your shift?"
Me: "I'd think it would be more of a disrespectful attitude to be unable to control my bodily functions in front of the tourists, don't you?"
DM: "Um.... what?"
Me: "See you on the 5th, DM."
PS... he called me again this morning. We had almost exactly the same conversation.... again.
I can't wait for tomorrow. I'm going to take the phone into the bathroom with me and give him a play-by-play.
Oh honey....how fun!
Guess what I got? Thrown back on day shift. I can hardly fucking wait.
Posted by: Da Goddess at June 1, 2004 10:24 AMI'm sure there's some sort of health-related reason as to why they wouldn't want you shuttling between the crapper and the food cart. Maybe you could mention the possibility of cross-contamination/ill tourists? =)
Posted by: Scooterdeb at June 1, 2004 11:23 AMNumber one, that is Harrassment. I'd call his boss immediately. You filed the correct paperwork. You did your job. Tape record the conversation and play it back to them. I bet anything he gets reprimanded and you might get a better position. At least the phone calls stop and mr. powertrip gets his butt whacked.
Posted by: ronni at June 1, 2004 11:50 AMI'd buy a ticket to the bathroom conversation with DM...
Hope you're doing better!
Posted by: pam at June 1, 2004 12:03 PMronni- It really doesn't bother me that much. And knowing the DM, I can easily chalk it up to brain-deaded-ness.
Easily.
I think the guy lives and breathes by his "action item" memos.... not a lot of demand for individual thought process, you know? :)
All I can ask is that you don't give *us* a play-by-play on the goings on of your bowels... thanks.
Posted by: xade at June 1, 2004 05:43 PMI hope everything stops going smoothley for you soon.
Posted by: bob at June 3, 2004 08:54 AMAren't you putting yourself at risk of being fired for having a shitty attitude?
heck for effect, I'd go in and shit my pants once in front of him (of course come prepared with clothing and baby wipes) but make a big scene about how he forced you to come to work and cry in front of his management... (use the best acting ability you have)... I'd pay just to see his reaction.... *G*
Posted by: ronni at June 3, 2004 08:52 PM