I couldn't go out on the balcony all day yesterday. There was a giant grasshopper out there, just waiting for me to come outside so he could hop on me and chew his way through to my liver (because that's what grasshoppers do. Everybody knows that.)
Finally the suspense became unbearable and I dug through the cabinets to find the Raid and sprayed the beast for five minutes.
I still can't go out on the balcony.
There's a giant dead grasshopper out there.
In Winnipeg, it's the wasps that are killers. I usually attack them with the vacuum cleaner and hope they'll suffocate inside the dust bag.
Posted by: Lynn at June 30, 2004 10:19 AMIt's those "stick" grasshoppers that get me. You know . . . the ones camouflaged to look like "harmless sticks," but they're just doing that to get you in close ("Oh! A stick! And a pretty one at that!") so they can attack by burrowing in through your eardrums and sucking your eyeballs out.
Pleasant dreams.
Posted by: topdawg at June 30, 2004 10:43 AMWhat. You don't own a wheelbarrow?
Posted by: Bob at June 30, 2004 11:53 AMIm sorry, a grasshopper!
vegitarian thing with 4 legs that clicks?
They come back from the dead you know.
Did you take your meds this morning?
Posted by: xade at June 30, 2004 08:13 PMi thought i saw a huge grasshopper outside once and later someone suggested it was a locust. bleahhhhh...
Posted by: angel at July 1, 2004 12:35 AM..dang, girl.. I thought you lived in Cali?... why didn't you just cap him with your 9?..
Posted by: Eric at July 1, 2004 04:38 AMDon't feel bad. I had the worlds largest wasp decide my screened in pool area would make a nice home. I didn't go out there for a week. I kept calling and asking people what wasps eat so that I could be sure nothing was out there that would encourage it to continue living. I saw the other day it had finally died. I left it's dry and shriveled corpse lying on the pool deck as a warning to any other greedy wasps of what would happen if they try to invade my domain.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
Posted by: Tammi at July 1, 2004 05:55 AM*snif* Poor little grasshopper *snif*
Just trying to live its life in peace *snif*
Probably had a wife and 10 million kids at home *snort*
Not the advance scout of an invasion force *honk*
Oh The Humanity! *bawl*
I'm thinking put it's little head on a pike as a warning to others.
Alternatively, Raid is flammable, so just start flipping lit matches towards it.
Posted by: Harvey at July 1, 2004 08:21 AM#$*(&#%&)(!!%(#_%**@!
OMG --- don't feel bad, if the grasshopper was larger than about 1/4-inch, I probably would have reacted the exact same f***ing way.
(shiver)
Posted by: david at July 1, 2004 08:12 PMI feel you. Yesterday I caught THREE nasty little mosquitos in my boyfriends bug sucker. It's fun 'cause I capture them alive and tap the container to make them buzz. It's what they get for giving me all those little red bumps on my precious body. To top it off, I saw a huge cockroach scamper across the bathroom floor. I left that one for the boyfriend and refused to use the bathroom until the cockroach was properly disposed. I HATE BUGS!!!
Posted by: Tiffanie at July 2, 2004 07:25 AMIn high school we did an experiment with live crickets. Everybody had to reach elbow deep into a large jar of 'em crawling around and pull one out.
I was suddenly very popular with the girls because I was perfectly happy to do it for them :)
Today, my finacée (who is no girly-girl -- she's an auto mechanic) is totally freaked out by bugs, proving that even when dealing with tomboys the "Lift Heavy Things; Squash Bugs" rule holds true.
Posted by: Strider at July 2, 2004 07:54 AMOf course, she also can't stand to touch food that she's not actually eating or cooking. Makes an awfully handy excuse when it's time to do dishes....
Posted by: Strider at July 2, 2004 07:55 AMHmm. I wonder how the New Zealand Sheep-Eating Weta crossed the Pacific?
These guys will make killer bees and fire ants look like ladybirds. Lock up your sheep - now!
Posted by: Pixy Misa at July 2, 2004 06:31 PM