June 28, 2004

Relax, Don't Do It

We had a substitute instructor in yoga class today.
He was..... different. Rather the way a one-legged stripper is different.... that little bit of missing part subtly affects the performance.
This guy's missing part was his verbal editor.
Things he said:


"Okay, close your eyes, visualize your center, energizing white light... yadda yadda yadda."

"Don't forget to breathe. Breathing is the key to good yoga. If you don't breathe, you die and I have to do paperwork."

"Okay, lift your leg and pull your knee toward your head, like a cat does. No licking."

"Who farted? It's okay, I'm sure the Buddha farted too..... man, that stinks."

Posted by LeeAnn at June 28, 2004 07:46 PM
Comments

I always find it amusing when people of some authoritative position try to make jokes, and they're just not funny.
With some of my teachers, I sometimes just feel like saying "Just shut up, your really not amusing any of us"

Posted by: Emma at June 28, 2004 08:56 PM

I would be hard to concentrate on yoga if the instructor is asking "Who Farted?"
I would be thinking "Shaddapayouface."

Posted by: Desert Raspberry at June 28, 2004 10:54 PM

Jesus, I really AM screwed.
Not only can I not stop giggling at him, I also thought to myself, "Now, there's a yoga class I could get into..."
*shaking head and laughing outright at 'no licking'*

Posted by: Stevie at June 30, 2004 10:04 AM

I'm with Stevie. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking!! :)

Posted by: drc at July 1, 2004 08:55 AM

If he said it in the kind of deadpan voice I have in my visual here, I know I would've gotten into one of those giggle fits that require a break and at least 5 minutes to calm down.

Posted by: Michelle at July 26, 2004 09:18 PM