March 12, 2004

Vex Vobiscum

Have you ever had one of those days where the sun shines, and birds sing, and you find a $20 on your way out to the car? Where traffic seems to melt away before you, where other drivers smile and wave, where the perfect parking spot awaits you at your destination?
A day that goes smoothly and easily, with compliments from strangers and kudos from friends? A day that in the evening finds you safely at home, dinner already made by an adoring spouse, and an icy martini with olives so pert and perky they fairly coo "nibble me, oh yes oh yes, nibble me now!" placed in your hand the moment you step through the door to your freshly cleaned and elegantly furnished abode?
One of those days where you find nothing in the mailbox but thank you notes and certifcates of merit, where spam rears not its ugly head and Nigeria doesn't exist, where clever phrases and eloquent posts filled with insight and genius flow from your fingertips? One of those days where all your favorite television shows are on one after another and nary a rerun in sight and all commercials have been reduced to three second blipverts?
A wonderful day that at the end finds you tucked snuggly warm in a heavenly-comfortable bed, with clean, crisp sheets and only the quiet whisper of your most cherished song on the radio to lull you to sleep after your beloved has considerately waited for you to have pleasure first, not once but several times, and followed it up with a long backrub? Where all your dreams are wonderful and full of benevolent omens of coming peace and prosperity?

Me neither.
And if you did, I don't want to hear about it, you lousy braggart.

Posted by LeeAnn at March 12, 2004 07:30 PM | TrackBack
Comments

You're my kind of girl LeeAnn!

Posted by: Ralph Wiggum at March 12, 2004 09:59 PM

You had me until "Nigeria doesn't exist". Even in my fantasies I need a little realism. No Nigerian spam...as if.

Posted by: Jim at March 13, 2004 06:43 AM

yes, briefly.

Posted by: Bob at March 13, 2004 01:38 PM

Not until just now. :D

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 13, 2004 04:53 PM