Yep, here it is Friday and me without a bit of original content. Lucky that I have the Friday Five.
What was...
1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Plato. Or it might have been Socrates. I was little and didn't pay much attention.
2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Popeye, the old ones where he muttered incoherently. I couldn't wait to grow up and have a squinky eye and bulging forearms.
3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
It was a piece of lint that I carried around for two years and called Gikky the Spider.
Shut up.
4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
Although I am quite clearly not Chinese, until I was in college and discovered the orgasmic joy of cold pizza, every single morning I ate a bowl of rice with soy sauce.
Couldn't find anyone to bind my feet, though. Damn narrow-minded southern methodists.
5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
We lived in a house that came with a huge, public-school-size swingset in the backyard, the kind made of industrial steel pipes about 15 feet tall.
One day, perfecting my monkeyness, I was shinnying up one of the poles to the top and sliding back down.... when I noticed the most peculiar thing. If I shinnyed up a ways, then clutched the pole with my legs very tightly and slid down just the tiniest bit and did it over and over and over again, it felt GOOD. For months, every day after school I was up a pole.
Until the day my mom poked her head out the back door and hollered, wanting to know what the hell I was doing.
"Oh Mommy!" I yelled. "You have to come climb! It feels so goooooooood! She got a look on her face in stages, first "what the hell?" and then "could it be?" and then "holy jeezus on a pogostick!", before she tugged me down and into the house for a cold bath.
The next day when I came home, the swingset was gone.
Years and years later, in high school, it was discovered by the parents that I was having sex with the boyfriend.
"It's all my fault" my mother sobbed. "I never should have let you play on the swingset!"
#5 - ROFL!!! Me, too!
Posted by: TwiddlyBits at March 5, 2004 09:48 AMROFLMAO My girls are grown up. I can threaten boyfriends, but swingsets just ignore you.
Posted by: Ted at March 5, 2004 09:49 AMHoly Moley...#5 me too!!!! What is really sad is I have never told anyone till just now...and I thought I was the only one... (there was lots of "bad me" in my childhood)
Posted by: shyanne at March 5, 2004 10:14 AMAhhhh -- well today one can get a Nimbus 2000 Harry Potter tie-in Quidditch broom. It has batteries.
Scorpio
http://scorpio.typepad.com/eccentricity
And to think I almost bought a swingset for my daughter!! Someone should put warning labels on those things. Sheesh.
Posted by: Genuine at March 5, 2004 07:56 PMAh, the pole orgasm. That works for both sexes, you know. I was a deportment problem in second grade after learning about the pole. Teacher would have to pull me off.
When my nephew was about 9 he overheard us talking about gays, and he said "I know what that is. My friend Alex is metal gay. He likes the pole on the playground". Ever since, any aberrant sexual behavior is deemed "metal gay" to us.
heh. she said, "on a pogostick!"
Posted by: Bob Spole at March 7, 2004 08:05 AM