I went out amongst the general public today.
You who have been around here a while know this never leads to Good.
This time was no different... the bag boy at the commissary scolded me.
I try to be nice. I really really do. I say please, and thank you, and I generally leave the safety on when I give my one warning. So when Bag Boy wants to make small talk as we search for walk to my car, fine and dandy. We talked about his current school, and his career plans, and that safest of subjects, the weather.
HA!
BagBoy: So did you get caught out in the big rainstorm the other day?
Me: No, I managed to miss that. Did you?
BB: Nope, I was inside studying all day for my doctorate in Nuclear Brain Surgery.
Me: Mmm. Yeah. I'd like to see a big storm, though. A great big thunder and lightning boomer.
BB: *stopping and drawing himself up to his full impressiveness of 5'4", (maybe) 100 pounds* How DARE you! That's so irresponsible!
Me: What? *looking for keys frantically*
BB: Don't you know how many people DIE every day because of lightning? Don't you know how many acres are lost to FIRE because of lightning? Don't you know the untold suffering and AGONY caused by lightning?
Me: What? Were you hit by lightning?
BB: Er... no, but we learned in my Advanced Geekotromics For Spotty-Complexion Geniuses class that....
Me: Were you burned out in those fires we had last fall?
BB: Um, no,.... but in Super-Difficult Physiomolecular class they told us...
Me: Don't you think it's kind of nice to sit all cuddled up with your girlfriend while it storms? Watch the lightning flash around? Snuggle and watch the rain?
BB: *mumble mumble*
Me: Beg your pardon?
BB: I SAID I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
Me: Oh.
BB: Yeah.
*both standing silently at my trunk, looking at our feet*
BB: So... you married?
Advanced Geekotromics was a great subject, the Spotty-Complexion Geniuses division were always a little bit wierd though...
Posted by: xade at March 2, 2004 07:33 PMBe careful of the geeks, they are the biggest sexual predators. At least I heard that once.
Posted by: Genuine at March 2, 2004 08:21 PMI hope you didn't pick that moment to have a "wardrobe malfunction"....pasty lil fella would've just DIED.
Posted by: Zonker at March 2, 2004 08:43 PM..but he would've died HAPPY.
Posted by: Greg at March 2, 2004 09:22 PMYou are much nicer than I am. You reasoned with the critter!! I tend to say things like, o well, may as well wear out as rust out. People that worried aren't really alive anyway, so they may as well throw themselves in front of a bus and be done with it.
Gotta work on my tact.
Posted by: Persnickety at March 3, 2004 06:21 AMLOL!! Why don't I get the young ones? My grocery store stocks these aged bag boys that never fail to leer at me. One grizzled speciman violated his bag boy status by standing at my car, almost IN it, even after I got in and tried to leave. I was actually a little frightened and started thinking: "I could kick his arthritic ass, I know it!"
Well, it IS South Florida. I guess this is where bag boys come to retire. ;)
Posted by: pam at March 3, 2004 08:31 AMWhat *is* it about you and going out in public?? You are right, it's not always a good thing. You're bound to run into either a window licker or seat sniffer, every time! Giggle.
Posted by: Tonya at March 3, 2004 08:43 AMThanks a lot! I just spewed my Pepsi all over my monitor.
Posted by: Amanda at March 3, 2004 11:53 AMYou can be such a bitch!
Into crushing the egos of poor defenceless bag-boys now huh?
Just keep your soul-destroying self at home. It's hard enough for the rest of us as it is.
No, I don't have issues. Shaddap.
Paul
Posted by: Light & Dark at March 4, 2004 06:13 PMThat's going to be my new motto...
"LeeAnn... she destroys more souls before breakfast than most people destroy all day."
Did you shove him into the trunk?
Posted by: Da Goddess at March 7, 2004 12:41 PM