January 14, 2004


I've found the universal email signature:

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the chihuahua next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Posted by LeeAnn at January 14, 2004 08:29 AM

And you didn't write this? It's got LeeAnn written all over it (see? there is a hidden message if you read it backwards, contrary to what the sig says).

Posted by: Greg at January 14, 2004 09:25 AM

No, if you read it backwards it summons the devil.

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 14, 2004 09:33 AM

What temperature should a "warm" oven be? I sit ok if I use Kosher salt or does it have to be iodized salt? Is my immediate family included in the circle of salt protection? Should I expect a hidden message in it if I read this disclaimer sideways?

I think your disclaimer has some loopholes that can be brutally abused.

Posted by: Lee at January 14, 2004 10:16 AM

Mmmm, brutal abuse.....
Sorry, did I say that out loud?

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 14, 2004 10:38 AM

Would it be ok if I made some editorial changes to that and used it as a disclaimer on my site? I really like it.

Posted by: Burnt Fuse at January 15, 2004 02:07 PM

Sure thing, it's pretty much public domain or whatever you call it... let's just say it's so old and gone around so much that I found it in an old folder of stuff I'd printed out from various temp jobs in the early 90s. :)

Posted by: LeeAnn at January 15, 2004 03:39 PM

I'm so stealing that!! Heh.

You're the best, hon.

Posted by: margi at January 15, 2004 08:50 PM

I'm stealing that one too.

Posted by: Beth at January 17, 2004 10:30 AM

Pretty cool. Here's a shorter one that I quite like as well:

"The opinions above are solely those of a 12 year old hacker who has broken into my account, and not those of my employer or any other organization."

Posted by: the dissident frogman at January 21, 2004 03:41 PM