the cheese stands alone

Pink Panties

My mom called me this weekend, in search of Christmas gift info.
It was way earlier than she usually calls, so I suspected disaster, as phone calls in odd times of the day usually harbinger.
What followed was a case of two women, both of whom don't hear so well, being.... weird.

Mom: "muttermuttermutter"
Me: "hmmmm?"
Mom: *louder* "I SAID muttermuttermutter!"
Me: "Pink panties. "
Mom: "WHAT?"
Me: "I thought you said what are you wearing?"
Mom: "Oh holy shit, no, I said 'what does your husband want for Christmas?' "
Me: "Oh.... uh, a bathrobe."
Mom: "A bathmutter? Don't you have one?"
Me: "He ruined it. It finally fell apart the last time he pulled it out."
Mom: "Pulled WHAT out? No, no, nevermind."
Me: "Who's blind?"
Mom: "How big muttermutter?"
Me: "How big is WHAT?"
Mom: "How big does he take it?"
Me: "Take WHAT? What are you talking about?"
Mom: "His muttermutter bathmutter."
Me: "It depends on what he ate the night before and what the hell are we talking about?"
Mom: "Muttermuttermutter."
Me: "WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!?"
Mom: "I don't want the GM1 to hear me."

I love my mommy.
But I am really curious as to what the GM1 is going to end up with for a gift.