the cheese stands alone

Five

The Friday Five:

1. What do you most want to be remembered for?
Oh, geez, so many answers, so little time. My perfect blogging abilities? My intellectual talents? My nicely-matured yet still perky breasts?
I guess I want to be remembered for any time I made someone happy. That's pretty much a goal you can't go wrong following. Oh, and the whole world domination thing, that would make a nice footnote in eulogy.
2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
"The Fear had two parts. Number one, you have lost control absolutely. Number two, having done so, the Real You emerges and you won't like it."
Tom Maddox, "Snake Eyes"
3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
I'm very proud that I still haven't lost my mind and gone up on the roof with a high-powered rifle, with the fully-visualized intent of relieving myself and the planet of some very singular asshats who constitute nothing but the sole purpose to drive me mad. See how nicely that cycles round? I realize also that I come back to the "high powered rifle on the roof" fantasy a lot, perhaps because it is the best stress-relieving image I have even conjured up.
Oh, and making some of the best friends I've ever found in Tonya, Maddy, Rachel, and Michael. That too.
4. What about the past ten years?
That's pretty easy.... remaining happily married for that entire time. It might not seem like a work-laden effort, but you must bear in mind that I am a serial monogamist. This is my fourth marriage, with a couple of near-misses mixed in. I've currently been wed to the GM1 for almost 15 years, an impressive record for me, because I have the attention span of an attention-deficit pigeon and the trust level of a loan officer. I impulse buy a lot. I believe firmly in the potential of a fixer-upper. All these traits have led me down a very rocky matrimonial path three previous times. I am absolutely convinced all my prior mistakes were necessary learning experiences, despite the complete and utter losers that I chose. I also still think of them from time to time... framed in the scope of my high-powered rifle, up on my vengeance rooftop.
5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
Learn from your mistakes, but waste not one second on regret or unnecessary guilt. Oh, and always take full advantage of an open bar at a wedding... especially if it's your own.

(previously posted on Blogspot)