the cheese stands alone

LeeAnn's Day Out, Part Two

Starbucks has just too damn many things on the menu board.
Especially if you're Ruby.

I stood behind Ruby for over 15 minutes today. Ruby could not quite wrap her mind around the plethora of items with which Starbucks wanted to caffinate her.
Ruby was about 600 years old. She leaned her tiny little old head back so far to puzzle out the difference between a grande and a venti that I fully expected her tiny little old neck to snap and her blue-rinsed noggin to go rolling out into the mall proper.
Then Ruby met up with Zoom.
Yes, his name tag said Zoom.
Don't ask me.

Apparently Zoom was new to Starbucks employment, because when Ruby would ask for a clarification of a beverage, Zoom would excuse himself to have an urgent, whispered consultation with the other Starbucks employees. He'd then come back and explain the selection to Ruby.
Unfortunately, Zoom had a very impressive desire to learn every possible detail, and Ruby had the attention span of a hummingbird. He was explaining mocha latte and she had moved on to frappachino.

At last Ruby decided what she wanted.
Coffee.
That was all she would say. "I want a coffee!" she'd squeak out, and Zoom would say "Yes, but what KIND of coffee?"
"HOT coffee!" she'd announce, stomping her tiny little old foot.
Finally someone in the back persuaded Zoom to ring up her coffee and move on before the rest of the waiting customers rioted.
"What is your name?" he asked, preparing to write it on her cup.
"My name" she said after a quick shuffle through her purse to confirm, "is Ruby Delilah Montgomery. I live at 17564 Delano Street, San Diego, California. My zip code is 91207. My telephone number is...."
Zoom looked like he was having an aneurysm.

Ruby was coaxed down to the receiving end of the line to await her coffee.
I don't know if she ever got it.
When Zoom looked at me, pale and shivering, he begged "Please, tell me you know what you want" in such a pitiful moan that I started giggling so hard I swallowed my altoid and had to go outside.

I hope your coffee was yum, Ruby.

Posted by LeeAnn at October 1, 2003 08:33 PM