the cheese stands alone

Off The Hook

I have officially reached the point of being an Old Fart. One of the characteristics of Old Farts is the inability to keep up with slang. I realized this when I was channel-surfing and landed on one of those teen-based shows on the WB. Might as well have been in Turkish.

I don't know what the hell they were talking about. Someone was overweight and had done something that left the phone disconnected, perhaps?

Slang is a slippery critter. Terms that were in play when I was in high school have shed their skins and assumed other meanings. Remember "ball"? Not the toy, but in reference to the sexual act? And "petting", that's strictly for the kiddie corral at the zoo these days. "Far out" is a place it takes longer to arrive at. "Uptight" is where thongs go.

The GM1 has lost weight and I know he's only done it to annoy me, damn his skinny butt. His shorts, as he stood brushing his teeth, hung down on his hips like one of those skateboard kids with the terminally droopy drawers.
"You look like some little rapper freak" I teased him. "All Kid Rocky M&M or something."
I tried to follow it up with some rapper lingo and that's when I hit the slang wall.

So I told him he was a shazbat funk-knuckle.
Works for me.